


The Lights Overhead

by ClaireBlueSkies



Series: The Travelling St. Petersburg Circus [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Circus, Anxiety, Best Friends, Circus, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homesickness, Light Angst, Loneliness, M/M, One Shot, Performing Arts, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Show Business, The Traveling St. Petersburg Circus, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Yuri Plisetsky's Nickname Is Yurio, happiness for all!, well-timed rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 03:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaireBlueSkies/pseuds/ClaireBlueSkies
Summary: Circus AU:Victor plays the light-board like an instrument with practiced ease. For those who watch carefully, he speaks with meticulously designed beams of color and bright sparkling lights. Not many watch carefully.Yuuri, as a contortionist, communicates with his body as much, if not more than with his words. How he leans into some people and not others, and tenses his knuckles when he's nervous. For those who watch carefully, his heart shines through his chest. Not many watch carefully.Luckily, Victor and Yuuri are watching each other, and they understand.





	The Lights Overhead

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my first fan fiction!  
> I had an idea for a little circus AU which I haven't seen a lot of. It started with a list of each character and how I'd cast them in my AU, but unfortunately, not all of my buddies could make it, so to give you a better idea of everyone's role, here's a cast list:
> 
> Ringmaster King JJ  
> Costume Designer Isabella  
> Technical team Guang-Hong, Leo, Seung-Gil  
> Star Contortionist Yuuri  
> Lighting Designer Victor  
> Elephant Makka  
> Assistant Minami  
> Tiger Tamer Otabek  
> Tiger Yurio  
> Trapeze Artists Mila and Sara  
> Magician and Juggler Phichit (w his trusty hamsters)  
> Clown Georgi  
> Stunt Man Chris  
> Circus Owner Yakov  
> Circus Manager Lilia  
> Circus Nurse Yuuko
> 
> My writing style is a little flowery, hope that's okay! And please let me know if you're interested in more from this universe?  
> Thank you for reading!

The evening performance started at six. In the wintertime, that meant it was pitch black, outside as well as in. No light leaked in through the tent flaps. Someone slipped quietly into the murk, elegant, practiced, humble in the bow of his head. He was invisible to those who did not know he was there. But Victor knew, and he watched and waited, patient and anticipatory.

And...

_Now._

Victor flipped the switch on his light board, labeled with white tape and the word “Start,” and the spark exploded the night into a wonderland. In the center of this glowing realm, was a bud. Or rather, something, _someone_ , that would soon bloom. And his name was Yuuri.

He began folded up into a circle, shoulders and head on the floor, hands spread back for balance, torso flipped over his head, and feet settled curled next to his shoulders. There was one solid blue light shining onto his figure. Dust shifted in the beam silently, waiting, as the audience did. Delicately, one leg rose up from the circle, straight and steady. The other followed and his hips lifted, until he was vertical. They collapsed suddenly into a split and a red beam of light met the blue, turning Yuuri orchid purple where the beams crossed.

That was Victor’s favorite part. Yuuri looked so royal in purple. The lighting for this act was like an arc: this was the rising action, but even the climax was subtle; Yuuri spoke for himself well enough that he didn’t need fancy lights to inspire awe. His body danced through the motions with a sure elegance and in the end, Yuuri circled back in on himself, settling into his bud again like a morning glory, as if he had never bloomed at all. The red light shut off, then the blue, and Yuuri disappeared once more. Victor counted off in his head, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... and the crowd roared with cheers and applause. Speechless for five whole seconds. He smiled; there was a reason their contortionist ended the show.

 _No_ , Victor amended as he slid the master switch into the “on” position after curtain call ended, alighting the ring so the audience could make their way out of the tent, chattering and smiling, _this is my favorite part_ , and he ran to find Yuuri.

* * *

 

“Good show tonight, Yuuri!” Chris walked by him on his way to his trailer, patting Yuuri’s bottom genially. Yuuri gave a flustered thanks. Chris’ eyebrow was still singed off from rehearsal yesterday, just one of the many occupational hazards for stuntmen. He gave a little wave over his shoulder and disappeared through his door.

The moon and stars shone brightly overhead, winking at Yuuri as he continued on. He wanted to get back to his trailer. That was it. He was exhausted, his knees were starting to ache, and he wanted to put on his pajamas _so badly_ ; his leotard was starting to itch. It’s not that it wasn’t beautiful- Isabella had done an amazing job as usual, but lace, crystals and partial nudity had nothing on blue cotton flannel covered in poodles, nine times out of ten. He was making a focused beeline to solitude and his bed, but those twinkling lights sang to him so sweetly, he paused to smile back. He was very conscious of his heartbeat, and it was calm. He continued on, now unhurried.

The grass was cold and a little damp from rain and made _squish_ sounds under the soles of his trainers. He lost all energy to move with grace by this point and tripped up the stairs of his trailer, slapping the door with his forehead. He sighed tiredly and just stood there for a moment, leaning against the glass window, not willing to move.

“Okay there?”

Yuuri twisted slowly, forehead squeaking on the glass as he moved to see who was behind him even though he would recognize that voice anywhere.

“Ah, Victor.” Yuuri couldn’t help himself; he smiled. It took the very last bit of his energy but it was worth it when Victor smiled back, warm and lovely. _Speaking of stars_ , Yuuri thought to himself. Victor’s hair shimmered a celestial silver, his eyes a nebulous blue. He was still in his outfit from the show too, black slacks and a black turtleneck, meant to make him disappear into his spot in the rafters. “Yeah.” He straightened up, stretching his back until it cracked. Victor, too, twinkled and sang like the stars. Yuuri’s heartbeat sped up then, instead of slowing, but he found he didn’t mind. He unlocked his door and held it open for Victor to walk in behind him.

This was their little ritual. Yuuri craved being alone after a day around people, and his favorite type of alone was alone with Victor. He didn’t know if Victor understood the intimacy and vulnerability of that to an introvert like Yuuri, but he hoped he didn’t. That would imply all sorts of things he wasn’t sure he was ready to admit to his friend.

Victor flopped down onto Yuuri’s purple velvet loveseat he’d found on the side of the highway about a year prior while he quickly slipped on his blue poodle pajama bottoms over his leotard, turning back towards his guest when he finished. Victor gave him a little once-over and started to giggle at him.

“What?” Yuuri asked suspiciously, unsure whether he should be insulted or not.

“Swarovski crystals on top and pajama pants I know you got at TJ Maxx on the bottom.” Victor sighed, grinning. “Only in the circus.”

Yuuri stuck out his tongue. “You _“know”_ I got these at TJ Maxx because you were there and you got the same pair in pink.”

He jolted back as Victor shot up from his seat, yelled, “Hold on!” and ran out of the trailer. Yuuri blinked at the glass window in the door that had miraculously not broken when it slammed shut behind him.

He turned away in the sudden quiet and went to his mini fridge. It contained two yogurts with raspberries on the bottom, sparkling water, carrots, miso paste and silken tofu. His freezer was stuffed only with ice packs (and a pint of mango sorbet he would keep a secret until his grave, because he knew Phichit would try to steal it). He pulled out the yogurts, one for him and one for Victor. He got out two spoons and walked over to his CD player to put on his Regina Spektor CD, skipping until he reached “Man of a Thousand Faces.” He settled into his loveseat. His eyes closed....

And a split second later they snapped open as his door once more opened with a bang.

“Voilà!” Victor stood there grinning with his arms out. He was dressed in his pink poodle TJ Maxx pajamas and a white t-shirt. “I don’t have any Swarovski crystals of my own, though.” He looked down at his outfit thoughtfully. “I might have glitter glue, though....”

Softly in the background, Regina sang.

“You can have one of mine,” Yuuri said quietly, and tucked his hair behind his pink ear, smiling softly, cheeks rosy. He chose a crystal off his leotard to pluck off, one settled right by his heart (not because it was over his heart, just because it was already a little loose) and held it out to Victor carefully, in his cupped hand.

_The man of a thousand faces_

_Sits down at the table_

_Eats a small lump of sugar_

_And smiles at the moon like he knows her._

* * *

 

Victor left Yuuri around midnight that night. Yuuri had fallen asleep pretty quickly into his yogurt, so Victor had wiped the raspberry off his nose and tucked him into bed. He tiptoed down the stairs, closing the door with considerably more grace than his last exit and paused for a moment, watching the moon shine off the crystal in his palm. _A little bit of Yuuri, wherever I am_ , Victor thought. He practically skipped back to his trailer to put it somewhere safe.

Yuuri had tucked his hair behind his ears unconsciously that evening when he gave Victor his gift. That meant Victor could see his ears turn cute and red. He knew they were just friends, but it felt like Yuuri was giving him a little gift of vulnerability, a hint, but maybe Victor was grasping at straws.

The next morning was cloudy and overcast. The crystal bounced off his chest where it hung on a knotted thread. The euphoria of last night misted up his brain all through his morning routine and walk to the big tent for rehearsal. It began to spark and thunder when he saw Yuuri in the center of the ring talking to King JJ, the ringmaster, but turned stormy quickly at the sight of Yuuri’s posture. Yuuri had a mastery of his body that allowed him to hide his feelings when he wanted to. He did not look tense or upset, but you had to look at his hands. The tips of his fingers were quivering ever-so-slightly, each joint stiff and extended, knuckles white. JJ was talking animatedly, voice carrying around the ring and laughing loud. As a contortionist, Yuuri’s body spoke a language all its own, one Victor had mastered years ago. It seemed JJ had never taken the time to learn.

“-really think you should contort into a J at the end of your act when I come out for curtain ca- ”

He speed-walked up to the two of them. _If he practices in this state, he’s going to hurt himself_ , Victor thought, and settled his arm around Yuuri’s shoulders. They trembled slightly and tensed, then relaxed when Yuuri’s maple eyes turned up to meet his. Victor looked back at JJ, grinning in the way he knew showed the most teeth. “Sorry, JJ! Lilia says she needs to speak to Yuuri about his new act before he starts rehearsal today.” He turned and walked away with Yuuri before King Jean-Jacket could respond.

“Vi- Victor, Lilia is in the other direction.”

“I know, Yuuri. You looked like you needed to get out of there for a second.”

Yuuri curled into him as they walked back out into the grey morning air, and Victor’s heart stuttered a quiet staccato, hidden where neither he nor Yuuri could see, but Victor could _feel_.

They walked in silence to the edge of the camp, the quietest part, where Otabek had set up his training course for Yurio. The man was nowhere to be seen, but Yurio was lazing in the field, orange and black stripes shifting in the sun like the grass beneath his paws. He was grumbling low in his stomach, which could only be equated to a kitten purr, as he ripped at his breakfast. He stopped eating and the grumbling turned to growling as the two approached. He stood and slinked towards them, blood still staining the whiskers by his muzzle. His snarls tapered off as jade eyes shifted between Victor and Yuuri before he blinked at Yuuri’s shaking hands, and sidled up to him, bumping his legs with his head and looking up at him, a question in the tilt of his head and in the slit of his eyes.

It began to rain. Big drops fell from the clouds and dripped onto Yurio’s pink petal nose, making it twitch. Yuuri slipped out of Victor’s hold and settled so that he was eye-level to the Bengal tiger.

_Good is better than perfect_

_Scrub ‘til your fingers are bleeding_

_And I’m crying for things that_

_I tell others to do without crying._

* * *

 

Yuuri sat still for a long time. Yurio had retrieved his breakfast and settled down a few feet away from him, his attention toward Yuuri even as he gnawed at a bone. Victor had yet to say a word, but Yuuri felt his presence behind him, which he was thankful for. Yuuri looked up from the muddy grass to the sky. There was no moon; there were no stars; even the sun was hidden, backlighting a tapestry of crying, pluming grey clouds.

“It makes me feel claustrophobic.... Not being able to see the sky,” Yuuri murmured. He shivered as a raindrop rolled from his hair down his spine.

“Let’s go back to my trailer. You’re going to catch a cold.” Victor helped pull him to his feet and held his hand silently as they walked away, Yurio watching their retreating backs.

A few minutes later the kettle was on and warming, _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ buzzed quietly in the background on Victor’s box TV and Victor and Yuuri were drying their hair with kitchen towels as they sat on Victor’s fold-out bed.

“Mari showed me how to find the three stars of Orion’s Belt out my bedroom window. I can still always find them. In Japan, here... wherever.”

Victor’s eyes were unfocused when Yuuri looked up to him. His towel rested around his neck and a drip of rainwater slid from his silver hair onto his cheek like a teardrop. Yuuri knew he understood, in his way. Yakov had practically adopted him as a child, so their troop was all the family Victor knew; he didn’t have a home to miss. But Yuuri knew Victor understood loneliness just as well as he.

Everyone in the circus was either running away from something, or looking for something they hadn’t been able to find anywhere else. And every single one of them had days when they missed home, whatever that meant to them. It was inevitable. Yuuri was lucky in a way; he wasn’t running from, but _towards_ , dreaming of bigger and better. His family still loved him (he had to remind himself), he called them a few times a month from the phone in Yakov’s office. He had a time limit of ten minutes though; otherwise, long-distance was way too expensive. Today he wanted to feel his mother’s arms around him, hear the boom of his father’s laugh when he drank a little bit too much Sapporo, smell the smoke curling up from Mari’s cigarette where it sat nestled between her fingers. He wanted to feel the air that came from above the sea, wet and salty, and look up between the fireflies and mist at night to see Orion with his bow and arrow at the ready.

“Today, I want to go home.”

Victor came back from wherever he’d been, and his eyes refocused on Yuuri. “You know you can ask them to come visit. Five years is a long time not to see their child,” he said quietly.

“I can’t ask them to close up the _onsen_ for me and lose all that money. I was selfish. I made the choice to leave, I have to live with the consequences.” He looked away. “And so do they.”

Victor shifted so that he was facing Yuuri, one knee bent on the mattress. His hand lifted towards Yuuri and delicate, pale fingertips touched his cheek so that Yuuri would look at him. “Part of loving someone is being selfish, asking them for things you can’t ask anyone else. They- they want to _give_. Let them?” He lowered his hand into his lap. “Ask your family to come because you love them.”

Yuuri’s hair and face had dried by then, but fresh tidal pools of salty water threatened to overflow his eyes and dampen his cheeks again. Victor felt, in that moment, a little like home to Yuuri. He reached forward and grasped the hand curled in Victor’s lap. He looked into his blue eyes and tried to convey what his simple words could not:

“Thank you.”

_His words are quiet like stains are_

_On a tablecloth washed in a river_

_Stains that are trying to cover, for each other_

_Or at least blend in with the pattern._

* * *

 

They went back to practice when the rain stopped. Yuuri stuttered his way through his routine without his usual grace, but Victor had a plan. It involved rather precarious balancing over the edge of the rafters hidden in the dark top of the tent, duct tape, many, _many_ AA batteries which he may or may not have taken out of every electric appliance he could find (including fire alarms), with the full intent to replace them someday. Most importantly, it required every single string of white Christmas lights Yakov packed away in the storage shed during his non-jolly seasons (which was every season, except on Christmas Day itself, or as Yakov called it in his grumbly voice, Victor’s Birthday). It had taken all the time between rehearsal and curtain call to prepare, but he hoped so much it would be worth it.

The six o’clock show had started an hour and a quarter ago. Mila and Sara had just finished their trapeze act, and Phichit was cartwheeling in for his magic show. Georgi’s act had been cancelled that evening. He was mourning the messy end of his relationship with Anya; everyone had warned him that you can’t date a civilian while you’re on the road. As the circus clown, his sniffling would be a real mood-killer.

Victor played his light-board like an instrument, with his usual finesse and care, but he had little butterflies fluttering in his stomach, which was new. He hadn’t been really nervous doing lights in years. But tonight he had a plan, a surprise for his Yuuri to make him smile again and feel grounded where he was, even far away from home. He wanted it to be perfect. In the ring, Phichit was just finishing up his finale: pulling Huey, Dewey and Louie out of his purple top-hat. The hamsters ran up his arms and bowed from the top of his head. Victor chuckled as he waited for the applause to die down. Then he dimmed the lights for Yuuri’s entrance.

This was his new routine, premiering today. Yuuri stepped to his platform, lit up by a single white spotlight from the moment he entered from the backstage curtains. He stood straight and steady, but there was a rigidity to the hold of his mouth. In the center of a round platform, he stopped. His hands were held by his sides, palms outward, neck bowed. Next, he would raise his face to the ceiling of the tent. Victor knew that. So he cut all the lights in the stadium. A small gasp gathered above the audience in the sudden dark. He leaned down from his chair and plugged in the end of the Christmas lights. Yuuri’s upturned face was illuminated suddenly by hundreds of stars buzzing with electricity. Victor had bundled up some of the lights to form Orion’s Belt in his handmade night sky. Yuuri froze completely, his eyes widened, and Victor could see him gasp all the way from the rafters.

There was silence for a moment. Then, Victor watched as the frayed edges of his nerves seemed to connect and flip on the light behind his eyes.

There is something special about dim, dark things that glimmer when the light hits them right. That is the circus, Victor thought. It was Victor’s job to make that happen, and then you can see the sparkle in the audience members’ eyes. This time, though, was not for anyone but Yuuri, to see his dim eyes glitter. Victor thought he was just marvelous in the performance that followed. The stars remained alight for his whole routine. He ended in the position of a growing vine, in a handstand with his legs twisted around each other, his toes pointed skyward. The Swarovski crystals twinkled like the stars above and Yuuri looked ethereal. Victor shut off the spotlight but let the string lights linger before he unplugged them. In the darkness, he could still see the lights imprinted in his vision. Victor counted: 1... and the audience roared. Their enthusiasm blew out the bubble that would have been awed silence. As curtain call ended, the butterflies in his stomach beat their wings with fervor. The show was over. It was time to go find–

“Victor! It was perfect! I can’t believe you did all that, thank you, I- I’m going to call my family tomorrow, and I-”

Yuuri lifted up from the ladder under Victor’s booth. He stumbled over the edge of the trap door and fell forward. Victor stood to grab him before he hit his face on the control panel and he fell as sweet and enchanting as ever into his arms. Those maple eyes lifted to him and Yuuri smiled with such exquisite joy. _Ask me something selfish_ , Victor wished. My Yuuri. He watched, completely entranced, as Yuuri’s cheeks and the tips of his ears bloomed a rosy pink. Victor held his breath.

“Victor... I... is it alright if I kiss you?”

He released it all at once in a torrent of air.

“Oh Yuuri, thank you, but–”

Yuuri closed his eyes, his face seemed to collapse and he started to back away from Victor’s arms, but Victor caught his hands before he could slip away.

“But you didn’t have to ask.” He gave him a small tug until he could hold him close again, and he kissed Yuuri with all the love he had felt for the past few years. And Yuuri kissed back! Victor gave himself a pinch behind Yuuri’s back. He wasn’t even dreaming.

* * *

 

_Now he sits down at the table_

_Right next to the window_

_And begins his quiet ascension_

_Without anyone's sturdy instruction_

_To a place of no religion_

_Has found a path to our alikeness_

_And eats a small lump of sugar_

_And smiles at the moon like he knows her._

**Author's Note:**

> The song I referenced is Man of a Thousand Faces by Regina Spektor, who is a queen and you should check it out! The song's meaning in the piece is up to personal interpretation.  
> Lot's of love and thanks for reading!! <3  
> [Tumblr!](https://supernovastare.tumblr.com/)


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